Dear Activision,

I love the Guitar Hero franchise. I’ve loved it since the first time I played the original years ago on the Playstation 2. I almost pissed myself when I found out that Guitar Hero III was actually coming to the Wii. I drooled over it for months and even borrowed a friend’s old PS2 and my brother’s copy of GHII in preparation of its arrival. I got my copy in December and it’s been nothing but heartache since.

The first offence was co-op quick play was omitted from the game. Then I realized that’s really not that big a deal because a decision of epic douchebaggery was made on your part to not offer the guitar controller as a separate purchase. You know, in case people wanted to try multiplayer. Next I found out that there is a handful of songs that are only available to unlock in Co-Op Career Mode. So now I can’t even unlock everything without making another purchase of a peripheral that, at the moment, does not exist. Worse still, my copy does not operate in Stereo mode (let alone all the Dolby B.S. you lovingly stamped all over the packaging). A game who’s main draw is its musical foundation only operates in Mono sound??? But you promised you’d make good on it. You said to just have some faith and you would make the Stereo snafu up to me. So, I waited.

Yesterday I received a rather curious package in the mail. I wasn’t familiar with the Continental Promotion Group from which the manila envelope was addressed. I opened it up to find that I am yet again getting bent over for making the mistake of owning what was, up until now, a beloved and extremely entertaining game. Now you’re telling me that in order for me to get my replacement I have to send you my physical disk BEFORE you even think about sending me a fully functioning copy? Best case scenario is that I will be without the game for a month? WHAT THE FUCK? I know it probably made sense at the time, but what the shit are you thinking? Am I supposed to still be so stoked about Guitar Hero that, after all the bullshit you’ve put me through, a month without being able to play it at all isn’t going to sour my feelings? I have A.D.D. If I go a month without playing it I’ll probably never pick it up again. I think you have a Gojira sized case of the “my-shit-don’t-stinks”.

You could have made an online form for us (the unfortunates that got screwed) to fill out. I would have given you my credit card number as collateral and had you ship my replacement disk along with the Disk Mailer and then charged my card if I hadn’t sent you the original copy in a timely manner. I thought that was standard procedure for these kinds of RMA cases. Guess Activision is too busy jerkin off to their own greatness to bother with something as meaningless as customer support. I really don’t think I’ll be buying any of the expansions slated for later this year, or purchasing songs from the shopping channel as I was so looking forward to this past November.

Fuck you too,

Joseph Tatroe